Moving into the Fall

For me, the year waxes and wanes with the school year. Fall term begins as we enter into September. Classes begin tomorrow. So the year is just starting for me. Being on campus the past few days, I've seen the strange influx of students and enthusiasm. I've also just finished moving into a new apartment!

I know a lot of people find packing and unpacking to be stressful. My friends never seemed to stop complaining about it this summer. Most of them never really finished unpacking by the time they needed to prep for the fall move in. Frazzled, they live out of suitcases even as the unpacking is put off for another weekend. Then as the fall term approaches, the half opened boxes are rushed back to the new dorm room. Students have so much packing and unpacking to do each year! Yet each time is a struggle!

Personally, I find packing to be kind of refreshing. Packing is the only time we really engage with everything we own. It's when I'm packing that I recognize how much I hoard. I'm amazed by what I have squirreled away, not just physically but also the memories associated with bundled up scarves and the tactile experience of laying my hands through every book I own. Packing is when my body of possessions is fully in my body of knowledge. There's something very particular about the smell of packing; the old smell of forgotten belongings mixed with the clean smell of just having tidied up. Usually, it's an emotional feeling - of fullness, of being provided for, of remembering - that is reassuring. I am the whole house, floor to ceiling, as I fold myself up into boxes.

Packing is funny too because it changes the character of the space you live in. With all my things in boxes, the old apartment seemed bigger. Echoes bounced around the apartment without furniture or rugs. My cat started to sprint back and forth between the open rooms, her path unobstructed. Desolate rooms dedicated to stacks of boxes are abandoned. I bustle into my bedroom, the last bastion of unpacked comfort, to eat and relax.

During the process of packing, I started to think of the new place as home. After all, it was the focus of my thoughts so much of the time! Where will this go in the new place, I'd ask myself as I wrapped things in newspaper. What color bookshelves would open up the main room, I'd ponder over Ikea catalogues. I have so many plans and dreams for the new place: the dinner parties I'd host, the evenings curled in my new sofa, even the commute back was ruminated on.

Now that I have the key to the new place and have turned in the key for the old, I'm feeling all sorts of strange emotions. I'm excited and exhilarated. The weight of the old place is removed. I feel doubt, worrying whether I chose the right place (and price) to move into. I'm buoyed by the thought of decorating absolutely to my taste, of the new plush sofa and convenience of a dishwasher. This new move doesn't quite feel like home, even though I think of it that way. Lying out with my cat on the carpet, it still smells like the cleaning service and not like me. Not everything has settled into nooks and crannies of routine. I fiddle around with things, bustling the new fruit bowl from one side of the kitchen to the other, to see where it really fits. I've invested a lot in this move, not just financially but emotionally as well. I want this year to begin with momentum to keep going. Having a home to return to is really the key to that, I hope.

The year is beginning. It's a time for starting over, creating something new. 

Growing Pains: Rise Up!

Growing up is scary. That's the truth of it - growing is painful. You know how teen boys get growing pains from growing so tall so fast? Or how mothers get stretch marks from growing big enough to hold new life?

Growing pains are a thing for physical and emotional life. 

Growing emotionally can be painful. Sometimes, like a snake, it means shedding your past and baggage. Sometimes, growing into an opportunity can be a challenge of quick growth and movement. Often, it's not going to be without risk. When you are facing a big life decision, the option that allows you to grow isn't going to be painless.

Right now I'm caught up in many painful choices. Oh! Thinking about them makes my head an my heart hurt.

• What will I do when I graduate? Work? Graduate School?

• Where will I live? Close to college friends? Go back home?

• Will I engage with my past? How much?

All of these are big scary questions. And really, they're all question about growth - personal, financial, emotional. Here's the good thing about growth - you don't really go backwards. I got a call from a high school student from my hometown. It was very brief, small talk. I'd be recommended for a small summer job - one that I couldn't take because I'm in Boston rather than Virginia. Brief as it was, I realized something from it. Little things were thrown in stark relief; all the big changes I take for granted were surprising to her. 

When I was considering these changes that are now so small, back then they were big and scary. Thinking about them caused me a lot of worry and confusion. Ultimately, they were opportunities I grew into. Now that growth I take for granted - it's just how big I am.

When you do commit to a growth, it becomes easier. Yes, it's hard at first but at the end, you're standing tall with a whole new view of the world. Grow up! You can do it!

Cabinet DIY Spray paint

Before

This is the old set up of my cabinet on my desk. Most importantly, everything in my bedroom is shades of white. I wanted this to match. I also wanted to transform it into a space where I could take photos. 

It started out as a nice posh set up but then I got less organized and knick knacks started piling up in it.

After

And here it is! Doesn't it just look so much better!

The clip you see is for a book light so that I can have excellent lighting. The bottom is space for snacks and other bits that shouldn't have been on the desk top anyway. 

I would rather that the door opened the other way, but I got the cabinet before the current desk layout. I might try moving it to the right side of the desk. 

Atop my dresser, sit my two small Asuka figurines. Hopefully I'll take the time to photograph all of my figurines and share them with you. I am slowly building up my collection! I really want to get the 4.0 figurine; I missed out on the 1.0 figurine. 

Here's another comparison shot. I don't see all of the differences between the lighting but I do understand that white backgrounds make such a difference. I think that I can see it on the gold jewelry box. I'm really working to improve on taking photos. I wouldn't dare to call it photography, but I really want to improve my skills and the only way to do that is practice!

Daily Make Up

Here's the make up that I use on a day to day basis. My style is a very natural mori-girl type look. These products are reliable: they create a quick but gorgeous day to day look. Not only that but these products work well with your natural look. They compliment you!

I can't wait to share with you the looks so:
Read more for the run through of items!

Quiet Routines of Drawing

Drawing is so relaxing to me; it's like carving out your own little world. 

I have my own little routines around drawing. Read more to find out my quirks.

Apartment Inspiration: Blogs and Stories

(via)

Check out this useful book, Small Space Decorating by Better homes and gardens ($17), and read more for blog posts that helped me make the big shift to my very own apartment!

College Applications and Admissions: The harsh truth

This is some real talk!

Blogging as Aggregate Solutions

I read a fair number of blogs. One of the most valuable things I've learned by reading the experiences and writings of others is that the challenges I'm going through are quite common. Other people are going through these same problems, trying to figure out how to solve them and survive. I was watching a video about a woman's experiences going through school with a chronic condition and her situation was perfectly analogous to mine. It was so heartening to know that someone else had gone through what I had. So many things that seem unique to a young college student are actually common to many college students. Sometimes all you need to know when you are crying in your room from homesickness is that this is real and probably a dozen other people in your dorm are doing the exact same thing, even if no one would fess up to it sitting next to you during lecture. There's a certain validation in knowing that you aren't alone and that your reactions are reasonable.

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Cuter Electronics: BLUE Headphones

I love headphones. I can't go anywhere without mine. They're my constant companions when riding the T so I want them to look stylish but be functional.
I've written about my quest for cute headphones before.  But I thought I should give you an update!

Sennheiser Momentum On Ear Headphone I am currently using these Sennheiser headphones. I absolutely love them! They look gorgeous on and the sound quality is amazing. I was totally blown away when I first purchased them; I swear I could hear the band playing in the room with me. The Sennheiser is well known for it's audio quality and these live up: the padding is comfy and cancels out sound. The audio quality is great for a range of music and stands at the top for this price range. They're a bit understated, but people are always asking about them and where I got them. Well, once I take them off, I can hear them asking!

I've had them since last August and have been using them heavily. They come with a lovely travel bag that keeps them very safe but they have also stood up a few trips in my purse without the bag. The cord that they use can also be replaced, if I understand correctly. Which is great if you tend to tangle or if you have a wire-attacking cat like mine!

 These are lovely headphones and they come in such a variety of colors. They're great because they cover your ear but are much slimmer than most styles. My friend has their washable headphones. She uses them for commutes, train rides, in her room, very heavy use. She loves them and feels great about the cleanliness since she practically lives in them. 

Incipio NX-102 f38 Hi-Fi Stereo Headphones - Bright Turquoise 

 I have owned these Incipio headphones. In fact, I purchased two pairs! I had my first pair for about a year in high school, wore them everyday and stored them loose in my back pack. Under all the wear and tear, my first pair broke during my first semester of college. That's a year and a half of use out of $35! I would get a lot of compliments for them, with such a bright and unusual color. 

And for the winter, you can use these cute headphone muffs to warm up your look.

Do you prefer links in the Amazon set up or as text with larger images?

Endure, Accomodate: Become

She is not a romantic. Illness does not necessarily produce insight. Mostly it does not. It must be endured, accommodated. Our struggles towards health can accommodate what looks like disease. If the shaking woman is extended a measure of tolerance, she can become a companion in endeavour. 

~ Hilary Mantel, in her review of The Shaking Woman or A History of My Nerves by Siri Hustvedt. 

I have spent a lot of my life believing that if I didn't acknowledge things that they would go away. But that's not how things work! I have been truly blessed to finally find folk who recognize that ignoring abuse doesn't make it disappear. Ignoring abuse allows your abuser to continue.

(via)

There's this other idea of the creative pathos; creativity doesn't come from suffering. Creativity comes from hard work. Suffering isn't noble. Pain isn't romantic. Like the quote says, being ill doesn't magically make you wise. Running away doesn't fix the problem; ignoring it doesn't help you.You're going to have to confront the situation and then figure out what you can do. That's how you get wise: learning how to fix problems through experience.

• When going through a difficulty, you must recognize that it is happening. 

• Recognize and accommodate.

• Pretending you aren't sad, sick, or tired doesn't make you feel better. 

Orientalism: The Stairway by Renoir

Orientalism describes the Western production of a great slew of images that depicted Algeria and other Middle Eastern countries. These depictions fell within a mythos of the decadent but deteriorating East. Oriental imagery served a political purpose, in the French development of an image of the new French colony of Algeria. Orientalism was a political campaign of perception. French artists were in control of the perception of the new colonies; the images they produced were the main depictions of the new colony to the French people. Without any other source, they were taken as documentaries. The French government encouraged this documentation by sending artists, photographers, and writers to colonies with allowances to produce impressions of the colonies. People were discouraged from referring to the indigenous art production. The Painter of Modern Life by Charles Baudelaire addresses the contemporary perception of “barbarousness” in Eastern art: “What I mean is an inevitable, synthetic, childlike barbarousness, which is often still to be discerned in a perfected art, such as that of Mexico, Egypt, or Nineveh.” (from a paper of my sophomore year for 19th Cent Art Hist)

Creativity as Practice

I am coming to understand that the most important practice is to create. And I mean that as both an individual and as a professional. It is the act of creating that gives an inspiration for further creating. So it is necessary to be in constant motion and thought about motion in rudder to maintain a spark. The motion must be forward and the reflection must be on the past. I must constantly remember what I have learned and how - my past and my identity inform my present product as do the lessons learned in that context. But the motion must always be forward.

(via here and here)

Healthy Competition: 3 Keys

There is something to be said about comparing yourself to others. In a healthy way, comparison can motivate you to try your hardest and give you inspiration to collaborate with others. However, if you go too far in comparing, then you can hurt yourself.

Here are a few ways that I find people on my campus compare against each other and ways he that  it  can be harmful. If you have ways of dealing with this sort of harm, please comment and share!

Summer Internship: 2014 at the Museum of Fine Arts!

I posted last year about what I brought to my summer internship at the Smithsonian American Art Museum. Now I'm posting about what I'm bringing to my internship at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. Isn't that crazy how long it's been?! I can barely believe it!

I'm so excited to be working at the MFA this summer. I'm in the Research department of Conservation, working under the guidance of two amazing conservators. I worked with them throughout this year, coming in during January's IAP term. It was amazing to go through the process of a literature search. Seeing how all of those journal articles turn into new research: what a dream! Now I get to apply the protocols that I helped to design for what could very well be a published research paper.

Read more to see the outfit that I put together and what's in my work purse!

Life Lessons: Learning the hard way

See, as a kid I was always being told

Oh, you just have to learn the hard way, don't you? Hard headed chile!

And I think it's time I remember that. I really learn the hard way best.

Read more for learning the hard way.

Habits in review

Habits are an important part of maintaining your mental and physical health. While habits may often make you think of phrases like "stuck in a rut" or "mindless routine," habits can in fact be much more than that. Habits can be simple acts of maintenance or more complex commitments to personal interrogation. Keeping myself accountable with habits has made a big change in my life and I hope that you too can use them both to improve yourself and to catch yourself before you fall.

Here are a mix of my healthy habits, those that maintain and those that help me grow.

MIT Culture: Critical and Personal Experience

This post isn't going to cover everything I have to say about MIT culture and it's not going to make everyone happy. To be quite clear, this is meant to be critical. If you don't want to read a criticism of some of the problems with MIT culture, please go no further. If you are looking for a careful analysis, I'm sorry but I'm not in the place to that; this is just a collection of my personal thoughts. While some of this is bitter, there are also good things about my school. I'm not bitter because I have bad grades or because of some other failing I've projected onto the school. (Even if I were bitter because of this, it wouldn't invalidate my criticism - Harvard is well known to grade inflate; MIT doesn't which puts students at a disadvantage.) I'm bitter because the school and culture I feel in love with over MITES and CPW is not the school that I'm attending.

I appreciate what MIT has given me in terms of advancing my career and solid financial support. A lot of what I talk about won't bother people but from where I come from and with the difficulties I tackle, some times these aspects of MIT culture seem like unnecessary and insurmountable obstacles.

If you want to know my experiences, as a college junior from a background that didn't give me a lot of support, then read on.

Tips and Resources for Your College Budget

A few pieces of advice for budgeting for your classes.

The first taste of freedom at college may lead to reckless spending. I've been on both sides - eating only oatmeal and discount frozen meals on to splurging on electronics. Trust me, it's better to stay in the middle.

Read more for some tips and link resources on how to stay in your college budget.

3 Ways: Balancing Time Through Scheduling

It is very important to figure out how to balance you time as you gain aspects to your life. During school, I have to balance my academic work, my dorm job, my social life, my personal time and my ability to keep a reasonable outlook on the future. This past summer, I was balancing an internship, tutoring, family time, and my own personal time while I tried to figure out where I want to go after graduating from MIT.

I will share a few tips for balancing your time.

Moving

I am moving into an apartment!

That's right - I'm moving out of the dorm and into an off campus apartment.

I'm super excited for the move; I can't even describe how done I am with dorm life and how excited I am to have my own space.
With a caveat, I am moving in with a friend, and temporarily, her boyfriend.

I'm also going to be getting intense with my MFA internship so I hope to have real things to talk about rather than the radio silence I've been imposing on you guys.

As soon as my furniture arrives I will have tons of pictures to post.